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It's everything I want to tell people when they make small talk and profound talk, but I often can't. Sickness, sex, and the process of dealing with aging parents feel unspeakable and sometimes unreachable, but they sure aren't here.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Spreading joy like pollen

bee Originally uploaded by ko-knia.

Here I am buzzing around again in my own private Idaho, doing things my way, even if it makes me stand out a little for some people. "Do you know how long I've been walking around with my bra hanging from my wrist like this?" "Two hours, forty-two minutes, sixteen seconds." "Close. I keep meaning to put it on, then I see something else I would rather do. Lemme just get into this before something else catches my eye." *Commence Operation Bra-Wearing Without Removing Any Clothing First* "WHOA!" "Hold on - I can't hear you when I'm hopping. Okay, what?" "I have NEVER seen anyone put it on like that before. Where is your bra?" "It's on now - didn't you see me just go through that?" "Oh, it is. Wow. Isn't that a bit . . . unusual?"

Photo credit: "bee" by ko-knia on flickr (click on photo to see more of this artist's work).

11 Comments:

Blogger PsEuDoPLaCeBo said...

I did some research for you and found this one. hope it helps ;)

http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/how_to_wear_a_bra_flash.swf

1/09/2006 07:47:00 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

Your efforts are noted and even appreciated. ;)

That woman is underestimating her potential. She is putting on the bra when she is naked. That is not nearly as entertaining as trying to get the bra on _after_ you are already wearing clothes. I'm just trying to raise the bar here and make life more interesting and challenging. I suspect that woman does not perceive bra-wrangling as a type of sport. There she is missing out on a potential moment of joy.

Also, be aware that I can impress people* with my dexterity, grace, perseverance, and sublime sense of the absurd as I jump into the bra, feet first, and then wiggle like I'm snake-charming it into place.

*I can impress SOME people. Okay, maybe, like, two.

1/09/2006 06:03:00 PM  
Blogger Jami said...

OK, now you have to put the bra on with your clothes on WHILE DRIVING. I'm proud that I can do that, although you get lots of strange looks from other motorists. Got lots of practice going to and from an afternoon job where the wearing of the OTSBH was semi-officially mandated.

1/11/2006 11:54:00 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

What is the OTSBH, Jami?

I bow to your superior bra-ing abilities. I'll be even more impressed if you drive a stick shift!

1/11/2006 02:15:00 PM  
Blogger Maria said...

I haven't worn a bra in weeks.

1/12/2006 12:42:00 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

I wind up getting "bounce sore" if I don't.

1/12/2006 10:14:00 AM  
Blogger Jami said...

OTSBH = Over The Shoulder Boulder (or Boob) Holder.
The comparable masculine acronym is OTHWG (Over The Hip Weenie Grip).

The bounce doesn't bother me; at my age it comes with the territory. (You know the joke: "I wear a 38 Long") I can do without a bra unless I'm someplace where it's cold and then it's either a bra or band-aids on the nipples ... and the band-aids hurt when you take 'em off.

And no, I don't drive a stick shift. It's a beige minivan with an automatic.

1/12/2006 01:45:00 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

LMAO, Jamie! Weenie grip! I know I will get an irresistable urge to blurt that out in public. Just wait.

1/12/2006 03:07:00 PM  
Blogger Jami said...

And the problem with that is ... ?

1/13/2006 01:39:00 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

I was totally out of control the last time I felt compelled to say "weenie" or its counterpart "weiner," which was in front of my trial advocacy class. I was practicing a cross examination of a witness named Dr. Winer. My crush was one of the students in the room, who sat watching me call another person "weiner" repeatedly as the entire class tittered each time I did it. Ugh. I also tripped exiting from the bench area. Hot.

1/16/2006 12:50:00 PM  
Blogger Jami said...

Well, I would think that if the good doctor was an adversarial witness, then "inadvertently" calling him "Weiner" a couple of times might
do a little something to undermine his credibility. ( Not that trial lawyers ever do such things. ;-) ) And besides, getting a name wrong is not quite the same as blurting out "weenie grip" in public ... and not nearly as funny.

1/17/2006 08:57:00 AM  

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