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It's everything I want to tell people when they make small talk and profound talk, but I often can't. Sickness, sex, and the process of dealing with aging parents feel unspeakable and sometimes unreachable, but they sure aren't here.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

No Sniveling

Child Pose Originally uploaded by Be Still.

"NO SNIVELING" was the bumpersticker on the car in front of me as I dragged ass to Staples after calling the outpatient oncology suite for methotrexate tomorrow.

Yesterday I did dead lifts at the gym with a 20 pound barbell in each hand. Put them down, pick them up again, breathe, stare in the mirror, put them down. In time, the infused vein bulged.

By last evening, new bruising rose the surface. It reminded me of the way wine spread through a new white tablecloth. The fresh bruising finally brought relief from the pressure, a sign that the healing was really starting. It usually takes two weeks to get over the worst of it, given the other meds.

Tonight I was tempted to poke at it in the same way you tongue an aching tooth, but then I realized, NO SNIVELING.

Photo credit: "Child Pose" by Be Still on flickr (click on photo for more of this artist's work) and on her blog, Be Still. Permission for use.

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