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Location: United States

It's everything I want to tell people when they make small talk and profound talk, but I often can't. Sickness, sex, and the process of dealing with aging parents feel unspeakable and sometimes unreachable, but they sure aren't here.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Making Options from Lemons

Sign Originally uploaded by Flips.

Now that the day has been pissed away with nausea and pain, my sleep cycle will be way off, which means choosing to ride out the strangeness of whatever combo of wakefulness and sleep my medicines and body give me. I will be starting my daily prednisone after 6 p.m. followed by the two rounds of Plaquenil and the full daily dose of Arava (20 mg). Dec. 23 will be the Aredia infusion, which means about 3 days of full-on heebie-jeebies. At least I know what the next days have in store for me, and I can work around it. The good stuff: no more huge, swollen, red knuckles. The pain, no kidding, diminished with their size. I remember being 23 and not thinking about my options for irregularity that day. It fascinates me to have experienced different ways of being in the world, but this way often remains unwitnessed and not comprehended. I think even other disabled and ill people have a way of not hearing and seeing what alternative experiences of pain are.

Photo credit: "Sign" by Flips on flickr (click on photo for more work by this artist).


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