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It's everything I want to tell people when they make small talk and profound talk, but I often can't. Sickness, sex, and the process of dealing with aging parents feel unspeakable and sometimes unreachable, but they sure aren't here.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Holiday-Induced Stupidity

Holidays turn me into such a grunting, monosyllabic dork. "Uh" becomes an intelligent statement. And that's without all my drugs. Except crack - crack might help me on the personality front during all this happiness shit. I should mention that I am sober through all of it. Perhaps that is what kills the joy, I'm not sure. When an oncology staffer mentioned that she didn't know how to get into the holiday spirit this year, my favorite bobble head recommended gin. I'm puzzled by the onslaught of ritual that everyone seems to know about parties, getting knackered, and being polite only to people's faces, which shouldn't be a surprising disclosure from someone who can't figure out how to keep her shirt on during basic human interaction. Not that this is a bad thing, mind you. I'm losing the ability to make nice-nice at loud social situations where everyone is happy to go home, anyhow. I think this is a virtue, but that's exactly what Miss Confuckinggeniality would think. Uh. Or happy new year!

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