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It's everything I want to tell people when they make small talk and profound talk, but I often can't. Sickness, sex, and the process of dealing with aging parents feel unspeakable and sometimes unreachable, but they sure aren't here.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The Basics Made Gross, Take Two

... and i go, WTF!? Originally uploaded by nepenthes.

Food is unappealing. Food is effort. I don't invite others along for the ahhhh, expulsion of food, though I fully appreciate Dooce.com's explicit discussion of crap and such. Considering how tedious it is for me to get food in, I don't want others along for that ride either. Drugs can bring on a near-constant level of nausea, as can chronic pain. When pain levels spike, so does my food. Often I work with slow, deliberate bites to resist the gag impulse. I refuse to lose weight. I simply can't afford it. The weight I have gained is too precious and too hard-won *not* to will myself to swallow. That said, most offerings still have the same lurid, gross quality of the "drink" in this pic. I want a magic shot that I can stab in my arm and be done with food for the day. Hunger isn't even an issue, since I don't experience it like other folks do: intense fatigue and nausea will kill that off nicely.

Photo credit: "...and i went, WTF?!" by nepenthes on flickr (click on photo for more work by this artist).

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